I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
