he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
