So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
