if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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