Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
