it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize