i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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