just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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