week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
