I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
