I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
