y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize