dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
