Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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