super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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