it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
