The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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