you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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