are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
