just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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