I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
