I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
