idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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