Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
