If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize