just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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