That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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