dude i'm inner monologue high
Barsexuality is the new black.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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