i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
