i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
