So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
