I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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