We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
