addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
