dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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