Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
