I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
