all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this just has baby written all over it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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