life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sext me about skeletons
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
