Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
