Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
