My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
