Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
