her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
