My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
