i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
