Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm bleeding and have questions
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
