My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
