It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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