I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize