I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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