I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
