shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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