The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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