walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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