I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
