I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
