ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
