she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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