Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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