He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
