people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
