That's intense
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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