it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
