He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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