The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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