I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
