Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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