Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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